I am turning 24 next month, and one of my closest pal asked what is in my wishlist- and my quick reply was - i want a royal enfield bike, a sexy jacket, a cool helmet and a long road journey to laddakh.
When she heard this, she was not shocked but she was staring at me as if i have asked her to donate her entire wardrobe :)
And then her lecture started which i have heard 100's of times from my close friends till now,which is something like this- grow up! you going to be 24!!!, you have to sound like a girl, get a activa, find a handsome guy who has that bike and be his pillion rider.
Till now i always end up fighting with anyone who gave me this lecture, but this time my reaction was i know i am going to be 24 and i should be mature, and to me being mature is to listen to my heart rather than living life on other terms and regret for life, i am mature enough to live life on my terms doing what i love. and i dont expect you to understand it but i expect you to respect my decision just as i do yours.
She said nothing and left after sometime, while drinking coffee i lost in my thoughts thinking why biking is so important to me and why i cant imagine my life without it
I was 6 when my dad died, what left with me is his memories and his bullet, and If you ask me the most clear memory i have of him is that he is taking me and my brother on bike rides.
When dad died, my brother and me missed him alot and when we used to miss him we used to go our garage and sit on his bike talking for hours remembering the short time we had with him.
My brother being 9 years older then me was having a more hard time, while i on the other hand found my dad in him.
Some years passed,we both missed the bike rides and wished to get a bike soon as mom was not comfortable with bhaiya riding dad's bike.
I still remember the day bhaiya got his 1st bike which was a bajaj caliber 115, we actually went to buy pulsar 150, but mom said she dont want that big tank bike in her home so we end up buying caliber .
But that time it didnt mattered, what mattered was that after years we have a bike on which bhaiya and i can go riding together.
I used to be a proud pillion rider, when 1 day my brother told me when i will be 18 he will make me learn to ride it.
I was shocked at first because i was not sure i can ride it, and that everyone will stare at me as we dont find girls or aunties driving bikes and i said i will be the odd one out and that i wont drive it.
This was he day my brother asked me- you love bikes and i know that you do, probably more then me, but what i fail to understand is that why are you afraid to live your dream .
That day my brother told me that it is nothing harm to follow your hearts and do what you like, and being different from others, and that nowhere it is written that bikes are just for guys, if i can ride it you can too
And the last thing he said was -as far as people are concerned - you are not here to live life on their terms but to live on your own terms.
After this conversation i could not sleep for days and it began constant fight and arguments with my brother as now i wanted to ride it and my brother on the other hand thought am too small to ride.
Everyday i used to find new ways to convince him and end up being the pillion rider-which i also love to be as being a pillion rider to my brother is one thing i always cherished :)
All those rides, conversations, those moments, thrills, new journeys, stunts,long empty roads , small small accidents, big -big scolding from moms when we used to get late and my everyday test of convincing and acting skills :)
And i must say the never giving up attitude helped me as i got my 1st riding experience real soon, my brother finally gave me a chance to ride his bike and than i also got my chance to ride my dream bike royal enfield which was my brother's friend's bike and that was the my 1st official accident also- which you can read here- My first enfield riding experience
Life was perfect and i used to dream and make plans of how me and my brother will go on that ride we are wishing for years- the delhi to laddakh bike ride where we both going to drive equally, the wish which was both of us dream
But than life does not go like what we plan, my brother died in nov 2010 and we could not make our wishes true.
Life changed forever- loosing him after dad was unbearable, he was everything to me and mom, i left my college and mom got paralysed.
I would spend hours in garage crying, reading his diaries, i locked everything of bhaiya which will make mom cry, but the truth was i was running away too.
And than 1 day i realized reading my brother diaries and being in garage that this way am hurting him, i knew that i had to stop running and the 1st step towards that was to start biking again.
I thought it would be too hard to ride without him, but when i ride, i felt like he is with me, i felt connected to him, to my dad.
I started riding everyday in the morning and i started feeling strong again, i felt alive, riding on those roads opened new roads in my life.
I know i cant have my complete family again but just for some time on that bike i felt them closer to me.
I started fighting again, those small daily rides gave me energy and inspiration to make my mom fight too ,i started dreaming again with a hope of better tomorrow for me and mom.
Biking is a way of me to connect with my dad and brother, biking is a way for me to be happy even in tough times, biking is a bliss, biking is my way to understand me , to listen my inner voice, biking is a way of me to tell them how much i love and miss them, a way to tell my mom that i wont give up and wont let you give up, a way to live the dreams my brother and we had .
Yes i have a wishlist which is not having a good career or going abroad on a vacation, or to get married to a good guy, but to own a royal enfield, to go on a road trip to laddakh with my mom as a pillion and live the dream my brother and i had, i choose to live this for him, for my dad, for my mom and for myself, to make my mom also feel connected to them, to make her happy.
I hope someday people around me will understand why this is more important than other things.
And i wish to live my wishlist soon ......................................
This post is a part of Castrol Power1 Blogging Contest : http://www.facebook.com/CastrolBiking
When she heard this, she was not shocked but she was staring at me as if i have asked her to donate her entire wardrobe :)
And then her lecture started which i have heard 100's of times from my close friends till now,which is something like this- grow up! you going to be 24!!!, you have to sound like a girl, get a activa, find a handsome guy who has that bike and be his pillion rider.
Till now i always end up fighting with anyone who gave me this lecture, but this time my reaction was i know i am going to be 24 and i should be mature, and to me being mature is to listen to my heart rather than living life on other terms and regret for life, i am mature enough to live life on my terms doing what i love. and i dont expect you to understand it but i expect you to respect my decision just as i do yours.
She said nothing and left after sometime, while drinking coffee i lost in my thoughts thinking why biking is so important to me and why i cant imagine my life without it
I was 6 when my dad died, what left with me is his memories and his bullet, and If you ask me the most clear memory i have of him is that he is taking me and my brother on bike rides.
When dad died, my brother and me missed him alot and when we used to miss him we used to go our garage and sit on his bike talking for hours remembering the short time we had with him.
My brother being 9 years older then me was having a more hard time, while i on the other hand found my dad in him.
Some years passed,we both missed the bike rides and wished to get a bike soon as mom was not comfortable with bhaiya riding dad's bike.
I still remember the day bhaiya got his 1st bike which was a bajaj caliber 115, we actually went to buy pulsar 150, but mom said she dont want that big tank bike in her home so we end up buying caliber .
But that time it didnt mattered, what mattered was that after years we have a bike on which bhaiya and i can go riding together.
I used to be a proud pillion rider, when 1 day my brother told me when i will be 18 he will make me learn to ride it.
I was shocked at first because i was not sure i can ride it, and that everyone will stare at me as we dont find girls or aunties driving bikes and i said i will be the odd one out and that i wont drive it.
This was he day my brother asked me- you love bikes and i know that you do, probably more then me, but what i fail to understand is that why are you afraid to live your dream .
That day my brother told me that it is nothing harm to follow your hearts and do what you like, and being different from others, and that nowhere it is written that bikes are just for guys, if i can ride it you can too
And the last thing he said was -as far as people are concerned - you are not here to live life on their terms but to live on your own terms.
After this conversation i could not sleep for days and it began constant fight and arguments with my brother as now i wanted to ride it and my brother on the other hand thought am too small to ride.
Everyday i used to find new ways to convince him and end up being the pillion rider-which i also love to be as being a pillion rider to my brother is one thing i always cherished :)
All those rides, conversations, those moments, thrills, new journeys, stunts,long empty roads , small small accidents, big -big scolding from moms when we used to get late and my everyday test of convincing and acting skills :)
And i must say the never giving up attitude helped me as i got my 1st riding experience real soon, my brother finally gave me a chance to ride his bike and than i also got my chance to ride my dream bike royal enfield which was my brother's friend's bike and that was the my 1st official accident also- which you can read here- My first enfield riding experience
Life was perfect and i used to dream and make plans of how me and my brother will go on that ride we are wishing for years- the delhi to laddakh bike ride where we both going to drive equally, the wish which was both of us dream
But than life does not go like what we plan, my brother died in nov 2010 and we could not make our wishes true.
Life changed forever- loosing him after dad was unbearable, he was everything to me and mom, i left my college and mom got paralysed.
I would spend hours in garage crying, reading his diaries, i locked everything of bhaiya which will make mom cry, but the truth was i was running away too.
And than 1 day i realized reading my brother diaries and being in garage that this way am hurting him, i knew that i had to stop running and the 1st step towards that was to start biking again.
I thought it would be too hard to ride without him, but when i ride, i felt like he is with me, i felt connected to him, to my dad.
I started riding everyday in the morning and i started feeling strong again, i felt alive, riding on those roads opened new roads in my life.
I know i cant have my complete family again but just for some time on that bike i felt them closer to me.
I started fighting again, those small daily rides gave me energy and inspiration to make my mom fight too ,i started dreaming again with a hope of better tomorrow for me and mom.
Biking is a way of me to connect with my dad and brother, biking is a way for me to be happy even in tough times, biking is a bliss, biking is my way to understand me , to listen my inner voice, biking is a way of me to tell them how much i love and miss them, a way to tell my mom that i wont give up and wont let you give up, a way to live the dreams my brother and we had .
Yes i have a wishlist which is not having a good career or going abroad on a vacation, or to get married to a good guy, but to own a royal enfield, to go on a road trip to laddakh with my mom as a pillion and live the dream my brother and i had, i choose to live this for him, for my dad, for my mom and for myself, to make my mom also feel connected to them, to make her happy.
I hope someday people around me will understand why this is more important than other things.
And i wish to live my wishlist soon ......................................
This post is a part of Castrol Power1 Blogging Contest : http://www.facebook.com/CastrolBiking
4 comments:
Hi Pooja, I just loved your post. Those who live on the luxury of inherited well being may not understand the meaning of the happiness you are snatching from the mouth of fate every moment. Both your courage and your love is exemplary. I respect. And your writing is amazing. I believe it must have been hard writing it. But you did. You are an amazing young lady.
Call me when you start your Laddakh-trip... I'll join you... Its been on my wish list too for a long-long time (my reasons may not be as compelling as yours but nevertheless)
@abu great to know that you also want to go to laddakh :)
we all have reasons but still we all have our hopes and dreams i hope you also get to do it soon and when i go will ask you for sure :)
very inspiring
take me also with you :D
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